Evelope darkness.
Embrace lonliness.
All by myself.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
In less than a week, I will not be sitting in front of this computer anymore...One hour plus ago, I just finished watching Silence. Its a touching love story. Its not the genre i would actually watch, but because of him, I did. But i did not regret it, because i think its a pretty story. Really felt like crying but couldnt because the 2 adults apparently thought they were accompanying me whereas how i wish i could push them into a room and keep them away from me. I really enjoy isolation when im in a world of shows. And i do not like the idea of someone watching me watch the show. Especially...when I wish to cry. Not because i dont want to cry in front of them, but because they would think im stupid to cry because of a fake story. Im never a person who like crowds. I hate the noise. And i hate that feeling. Because I can never be one of them who can breeze through the people and entertain them all the way. I can never speak in a way that make people like me instantly. Nor can i speak comfortably and sensibly outside my circle of friends. Maybe that is why i prefer isolation. However i must say that although i like my own world of isolation, there are times whereby i love to listen. Dont force me to talk, dont question why im so quiet, dont find me weird and lonely, because these are just times where i wish to just listen. No matter how much a person loves loneliness, there is always a time whereby one would welcome the idea of someones comfort.Have no idea why i would say this much about myself here. Maybe you might not think one paragraph is alot but if you know me for long, this self admittance should freak you out. Because its also freaking me out. This self realisation came eons ago but never have i said it out. Im changing. I know it. But this way of exposing part of me, is it a good choice or bad...? You say it.Sam...Sorry for the sudden randomness and switch in subject. ^___^
the reminiscer
Samantha
B.A.II
14.11.89
Scopion
